WWYDB?

What Would Your Daemon Be? This is the question that I have pondered since watching "The Golden Compass" for the second time earlier this week. This film is based on Philip Pullman's "His Dark Materials" trilogy of books. There was quite an uproar over the film when it was originally released in theaters by the Catholic Church, who thought that the film's portrayal of The Magisterium hit a little too close to home, and fans of the book, who were disappointed by what they viewed as the generalization and elimination of some of the book's religious themes. I haven't read the books yet, but plan to and the movie very much intrigued me. In the alternate world that "His Dark Materials" takes place in, every human is born with a daemon that represents his/her soul. This daemon changes shape at will during childhood, but upon reaching adolescence, settles into one form. Our heroine Lyra Belacqua's daemon is Pantalaimon (Pan). Some forms of daemons are reserved for classes of people - servant daemons are dogs, scholars/Master daemons are birds, and so on. I am going to give this movie four stars but with a couple caveats - first, I don't think you should read the book first. Second, if you don't like "The Fellowship of the Rings" or "Harry Potter", don't bother.

Enough already!

Okay, I need to preface this post with the fact that I don't dislike pets. While "pet or animal person" wouldn't necessarily be the first terms that I would use to describe myself, I like pets. I loved my dog Curly that we had when I was little. But, people, enough already! Please STOP writing books about your dogs, cats, and whatever animals you may have. While I don't think "Marley and Me" necessarily started this trend (in fact, I am going to blame James Herriot), the success of that particular book seems to have sparked a lot of imitators. The cover on the right is really what set me off!

Double bummer

Today was not a good day on the job front. As noted previously, I have had two phone interviews so far. One of them was with a large health insurance company based in the southwestern metro. The recruiter contracted me today and let me know that the job I was being considered for has been closed; they will not be filling it at this time.

That was a bummer; the double bummer is the announcement from Best Buy offered buyouts to 4,000 employees at its corporate headquarters in Richfield. This accounts for nearly all of the employees at the HQ location.

Plan B

Well, I have applied to countless jobs since being laid off and have had two phone interviews. Unfortunately, nothing has transpired from them yet and I was told during my brief conversation with a recruiter today that they are receiving a significant number of applications for open positions.

Plan B is, and has been for probably two weeks now, to increase my credit load next semester if I don't get a job. I usually take eight credits a semester, which translates into two nights a week. At that pace, I was going to graduate with my Master's in Human Resources and Industrial Relations in May 2010. If Plan B is implemented (and it looks like it will be), I will take twelve credits next semester and be at class three nights a week. That would move up my graduation date to December 2009.

It's a decent Plan B and I am thankful to have it and lucky it is an option. But the prospect of going without a job beyond January 20th (the first day of class) is more than a little depressing and disheartening.

Time to reflect and to watch movies

During this unexpected time off, I have time to reflect. I will hopefully be spending time figuring out what kind of job I want next. Yesterday at class, we dissected a great case regarding Taran Swan and Nickelodeon. Taran seemed to be a great boss and had great ideas about developing her people and how to make them successful not just in their current job, but in all their future jobs. Last night's discussion and last week's great guest speaker about emotional intelligence have started these reflection ideas percolating.

Before that, I have been watching and seeing a fair amount of movies. First up was "Twilight", the film adaptation of Stephenie Meyer's hit book. I persuaded Lucas to join myself and our friends Andrea and Bryan to go see the movie on opening day. Wow - holy screaming teenage girls, Batman! They screamed when the lights dimmed, they screamed when Edward was on the screen for the first time, they screamed during the scene in Port Angeles, they screamed during the kiss scene. I think Lucas was a bit overwhelmed. Review - not bad; three and a half stars out of five. They did a decent job adapting the book and making Bella a little less dopey. Rosalie, Emmett, Esme, and Alice were great. Jasper had the odd habit of looking like a total sociopath the whole time. Carlisle was insanely and frighteninly pale. Jacob was a horrible actor. Charlie was phenomenal and Bella's house and Forks, WA were very much like I pictured them. I actually wanted to watch it again after it was over, which is always a good sign.

Next up was "Persepolis". Great movie - four stars. "Persepolis" is based on the graphic novels by Marjane Satrapi about her growing up in Iran pre- and post-revolution and her schooling in Austria. It is a cartoon and the drawings and visual style are very unique. The film is in French with English subtitles. The movie does a good job of portraying the circumstances around and after the Iranian Revolution. While it is obvious now that the Shah probably wasn't the greatest leader in the world, the Iranian people were hoping to replace him with a more democratic and fair leader. What they got, as we know, was fundamentalist oppression. What would Iran be like if the U.S. had intervened?

Last weekend, Lucas and I were treated by my parents to "Four Christmases". I had high hopes for this Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon flick, especially when I saw the trailer featuring the quote by Vince Vaughn about rather being hunted by a crazy millionaire on an island. Priceless. Unfortunately, this comedy is not. I give it two and a half stars - there are some funny moments (the Christmas pageant is a good one), but it is a lot like "Step Brothers" - you can tell that more lines/scenes were supposed to be funny, but they fell FLAT.

I have also watched "The Golden Compass", but I am going back for a second viewing before making any judgements. I'm looking forward to increasing my diet of Netflix once school is over for the semester and for the slew of end of the year award contender releases like "Frost/Nixon", "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button", "The Reader", "Revolutionary Road", and "Slumdog Millionaire". I also still need to see "Quantum of Solace". And maybe "Doubt".

If this whole HR thing doesn't work out...

So, it has been officially three weeks since I was laid off. Unfortunately, more bad news regarding the economy seems to come out every day - Hutchinson Technology will be cutting up to 25% of its workforce (while the remaining employees will take a 5% pay cut); 3M will lose 2,300 jobs; the Tribune Co. and the auto companies on the verge of collapse. Sigh. There's not a lot to make an unemployed girl hopeful.

So, if this whole HR job thing doesn't work out, I have two back-up plans. The first one is to start a 24/7 "Gilmore Girls" channel. I freaking love the "Gilmore Girls" except for the last season, which I don't talk about. It's kind of like the last three "Star Wars" movies that were released - I just pretend that they and the last season of "Gilmore Girls" don't exist! I think it should be required viewing for all teenage girls and their mothers about how relationships CAN be. Plus, the dialogue is killer for pop culture fanatics such as myself. ABC Family shows it at 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. I have been catching the 10 a.m. shows and find myself ditching "The Price is Right" to watch it. The 10 a.m. shows are during Season 1, so it's fun to see Lorelai and Rory at the beginning!

My second back-up plan is to open a Whataburger franchise in the Twin Cities. Lucas, my brother Tom, his girlfriend Mackenzie, and me discovered Whataburger last June while we were in Texas for my cousin Nick's high school graduation. Whataburger has phenomenal onion rings and best of all, they serve breakfast all day and some of them are up 24 hours. We took full advantage of all three during our stay. And, I know just where it would go - in the spot left vacant by Krispy Kreme in Eden Prairie. It would be perfect!

Obama before Obama?

Was President Jed Bartlett from NBC's "The West Wing" Barack Obama before we heard of the esteemed Senator from Illinois? Perhaps. "The West Wing" is on at 8 a.m. Central Time on Bravo. I forgot how much I enjoyed the early seasons of the show, the seasons before Rob Lowe left for the dreadful "The Lyon's Den" and "Dr. Vegas". Oy! Here's the cast in its prime, though this was before the delightful Emily Procter joined as Republican Ainsley Haines. And, did you know that Donna Moss' real first name was Donnatella and she was born outside of Warroad, MN? That Josh Lyman's love interest Amy Gardner's real first name was Amelia? C.J. stood for Claudia Jean? That Zoey Bartlet is now Peggy on "Mad Men"?

Working for the Obama-Biden administration?

Today, I submitted my online Expression of Intent to work for the Obama-Biden administration. Particularly, I would be interested in working on Mrs. Biden's staff. Mrs. Biden is an educator and specializes in teaching emotionally disturbed children. She seems like a good person.

No Soap Operas

As I will now be home for most of the day on most days, I have been working on setting ground rules for myself and as Liz suggested, small daily goals.

The first ground rule that I've set for myself is NO soap operas! I have been a fan of various soaps over the years, including The Young and the Restless, Guiding Light, Sunset Beach (no longer on air), All My Children, and General Hospital. I will not succumb to the lure of returning to their attractive clutches!

The one vice that I am allowing myself is The Price is Right. Although Drew Carey is no Bob Barker, I figure I will allow myself this indulgence while running on our treadmill, something I have been neglecting to do for several months.

Officially Done

The title of the last post was "Somewhat Officially Done" because today is officially my last day of employment with my former company. The other individuals who are affected are receiving the news probably as I write this.

I am receiving a severance package. I received two weeks pay in lieu of notice, and for signing a Severance Agreement, I receive an additional two weeks of pay. I had 62 hours of vacation accrued that was paid out. My former company is paying for my health insurance through the end of the year and I am eligible for outplacement services during this time as well.

I will be filing for unemployment, which is not something I ever really thought I would do. I have never been involuntarily unemployed. According to the Minnesota Unemployment Insurance website (http://www.uimn.org/index.htm), I can file for unemployment "the first business day you are unemployed or your work hours are reduced." So, since my employment officially ends today, I can file for it tomorrow.

Somewhat Officially Done

As I drove away, I felt the waterworks spring up again. But, crap, I had to go to CVS to pick up some pictures I had ordered. I managed to stave off the waterworks through picking up my pictures. I got back in the car, and started to cry a little.

I called Lucas and let him know that I was done and on my way home. I managed to unload my car before my mom arrived. She took me out for lunch at Noodles and Company, where I was surrounded my people on their lunch breaks from work. Grrr.

We came back, did a little laundry, and picked up a few things. I plugged away on the computer for a little while, uploading resumes to different sites. My mom left and I talked to Courtney a while before I left for school.

I went and met with my Wednesday night professor before class. I wanted to let her know my situation. She was very sympathetic and offered a few suggestions:

Liz Welsh's Tips for Surviving a Layoff/Job Search
1. Set measurable goals for yourself each day - and not goals of the "I'm going to find a job this week" variety.

2. Volunteer; it gets you out of the house and feel like a productive, contributing member of society.

3. Go to school full-time.

The first two were ones that I hadn't thought of, while the third is one that I have pondered and will continue to do so. After this semester is finished, I will have 22 credits left until graduation. If I went full-time this spring, I would move my graduation date up from May 2010 to December 2009. Will the economy be better in a year?

I was glad that I went to class last night; it helped restore a piece of my sense of normalcy. I have met some great people there and all were very sorry to hear what happened.

I got home after class and Lucas and I debriefed the day. He wants to make sure that I am not taking this personally. I'm not, I guess. That doesn't mean that I'm not angry and still don't fully understand the rationale behind it, but I'm not taking it personally. I have to believe my former boss when she said that I was a good performer and will do great things wherever I land.

Transitional Meeting

We met at 10:30 a.m. to do the transitional meeting. I had most of my car packed up by then and just had one bag to take with me when I left. We went over the Executive Staff statistics that I had been preparing the previous five months, the Employee Opinion Survey project that I had led. We were in the process of getting our hands around the results and unfortunately, I won't be able to see what the company will do with them. We discussed the two requisitions that were currently open, one active and one not. I handed over the employee services paperwork for the Education Reimbursement and PC Buy programs. Somebody owed money from the flu shots two weeks before and other miscellaneous items were discussed.

Then, we got to the holiday party. Yes, folks, the business unit holiday party that I organized for January 24th with a budget of $34,000 (more than half my salary) is going on as planned.

This was the most difficult part of the discussion and I could feel myself getting really angry and bitter. This company is going to lay off 50 people, but the holiday parties are still happening! SERIOUSLY. Most of my friends are at sensible companies who cancelled these events.

Lesson #3 - As a company, you should get rid of the "extra" things before you start getting rid of people!

I couldn't even look my boss in the eye during this part of the discussion. When we finished, she asked if I had any questions. No. She reiterated what she had said that day before - this wasn't performance based, it was strictly cost cutting. I had done really great things there and she had planned on me continuing to do so. She thanked me for being professional during the event, stated that she would be happy to be a reference for me, and said to keep in touch. She asked again if I had any questions. No, but at this point, it was obvious that she didn't have my final check. I confirmed that with her. GREAT.

Lesson #4 - Have the person's final check with you when laying them off. They have enough to worry about without having to worry about that.

It was 11 a.m. I got out of there. On the way out, I asked our very nice security guard to help me out with my one bag I had. As he walked me out, I told him that I had gotten laid off, and that he couldn't tell anyone about it. He was shocked. He gave me a big hug.

I drove away.

The Next Morning

I returned to work/former workplace on Wednesday morning. I had cried a little bit before I left, but Lucas reminded me to "keep it professional", which I resolved to do. I got to work a little before 8 a.m. and started to pack up my stuff, make a list of transition items, and finish the last item I had on my plate.

My boss got there a little bit after I did and asked me how I was doing. I said OK. She said that we would get together later that morning to discuss transitional tasks. I said fine. She then went into her office and I continued to pack up. She then said, "You are going to love Wicked!" She had went to Wicked the night before with her sister-in-law and knew that I was going on Sunday with my mom. I was incredulous. What the heck am I supposed to say to that? I really wanted to respond with something snarky, such as "I don't think that I will love it...now that I don't have a job!" but instead just responded with a totally half-hearted "Umm...yeah."

Lesson #2: When you are laying someone off, THINK before you speak.

She didn't say a word to me for a long time after that.

However, the next thing we did talk about was somewhat equally as curious. She said that my co-worker in CA that I needed to talk to do some training would be in at 9 a.m. PST, 11 a.m. CST. To which I responded, "Well, I guess I can call her from home." My mom had offered on Tuesday to come over on Wednesday, but I had initially turned her down. However, after a rough morning, I called her on my way into the office and we agreed she would be there around 11:30 a.m. Lucas had offered to work from home in the afternoon, but I wanted him to be at work. We need at least one paycheck in our household, right? I had absolutely NO plans on being in the office past 11. My boss seemed slightly surprised by my response; did she really expect me to stay there for most of the day? I had the mentality of being in and then OUT.

We had also discussed me being able to say goodbye to people that I wanted to. She also told me at that time that I wasn't going to be able to do that what with the pending actions on Thursday and all. I could communicate with them after 3 p.m. on Tuesday. This made me feel pretty bad; I couldn't even say goodbye to people! She then mentioned that she had a meeting at 10 a.m. and a meeting at 11 a.m. and wanted to make sure we got a chance to have our transitional meeting. I suggested 10:30 - 11 a.m.; she asked, "Well, is that going to be enough time?"

I'm going to MAKE it enough time, I thought. She went into her meeting and I packed up my car. She had offered to help me, but geez, can we say awkward?

Laid Off - Part II

I don't remember much very clearly after that. You always hear that people shut down after getting that kind of news, and I did. Plus, I had been on the other end of two previous rounds of layoffs at the same company and knew the drill. My boss told me that I could leave and then come back tomorrow to transition some of my tasks. I took her up on that.

Lesson #1 - When you get laid off, don't go home knowing you are going to have to go back. Pack up your things and do the transition duties that day. It was HORRIBLE having to return to the office yesterday.

I called Lucas immediately and he said that he would meet me at home. He asked me how it went. I said that I was proud that I didn't cry in the meeting, though I was certainly crying then! I called my mom and my grandparents on the way home. All three were very reassuring that this crisis, like other crises, would pass. I called a friend of mine who I have class with on Tuesday nights and let her know what happened. She said that I was the third person she had talked to that day that had gotten laid off!

Lucas and I spent most of the afternoon on the couch - me crying and he giving me Kleenexes, telling me that everything would work out. I e-mailed my professor and told him I wouldn't be in class that night before I left work. I also e-mailed my group members on a group project and told them the same. Imagine my surprise when one of my classmates responded to my e-mail and said he had been laid off the previous week.

The rest of the afternoon and evening was spent on the computer, notifying HR contacts of my prediciment and applying for jobs. I had a hard time not doing anything, so I figured I might as well get started on the job search.

Laid Off - Part I

I thought I would start a blog to capture what I am now calling "My Big Fat Layoff Experience". I was going to start journaling again as a coping mechanism, but I have so many random thoughts during the day that I thought this might be a better forum.

Many of you have heard my layoff "origin" story, but I will recap it for those you haven't. A week ago Tuesday, I sat down with my boss for our regularly-scheduled one-on-one meeting. I went first (as usual) and recapped my progress on the items I was working on. After I was finished, she told me that we were going to be proceeding with a 5% reduction in force, most likely occuring on Thursday, November 20th. I wasn't surprised because as I had been walking past her office earlier that day, I overheard her discussion with a manager, which alluded to this action. During our discussion, she said that every department was going to be affected, to which I responded, "Every department? Does that mean we are going to be affected as well?" She replied that as of that day, she hadn't been told that we were. She also stated that she didn't think that we would because G&A was going to be grouped together for this action and because our department had managed two people out for performance earlier in the year and had only replaced one position.

I left that meeting with a lot of emotions. On the one hand, I felt horrible for the people who were going to be affected. This economy, this time of year - it just made me feel sick. On the other hand, I was glad that my department was safe. However, as the week progressed, I became less and less uncertain that HR was going to get off scot-free. Why would we? From what I knew about the CEO of the company, if every department was going to be affected, EVERY department was going to be affected.

Unfortunately, I began to come to the realization that my position was the most vulnerable. I was located at a remote site that was much smaller than our headquarters location. Most of my job duties could probably be absorbed by co-workers in California. It's not a good feeling when you come to the realization that if a layoff happens, you're probably going to be the one affected. I had dinner with my grandparents on Friday; they told me that if it happens, it happens, and there's nothing I could have done to control it. I tried not to worry about it; easier said than done, especially for me! Over the weekend, I proceeded to create my "Strike Plan" - where I could go to look for a new job, who I could reach out to, and other helpful websites and information I should have on hand. I reviewed our finances on Sunday.

When I got back to the office on Monday, my level of certainty that I was going to get laid off increased. My boss was behind closed doors most of the day, sometimes in meetings and sometimes not. When she wasn't in her office, she did not engage me. I made a list of items in my office that were "mine" and that I would need to take with me when/if I would exit.

Two days ago, a week after my boss first officially told me about the pending actions, we were back to our regularly scheduled one-on-one meeting. She got up to close the door - uh oh. We never have our meeting behind closed doors. She sat down and said, "I have something serious to discuss with you." I remember that clearly - after that, she said something to the effect of, "Last week when you asked me if HR was going to be affected, I told you that we were not going to be. However, I have since learned differently. We are going to be affected, and unfortunately, your position is the one that is going to be eliminated."

GULP.